BETHOTHAL
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Prior to the wedding, the “berinai” or henna application ceremony is held. Dye from henna leaves is used to decorate the bride’s palms and feet. This is believed to bring good luck, fertility and to ward off evil. The ceremony is then followed by the “tukar pakaian” or costume change ceremony where the bride and groom will don different clothes for photography. The “pelamin” or raised dais will be beautifully decorated for this purpose.
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BERSANDING CEREMONY ("RAJA SEHARI") -
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The “mak andam” or beautician, as well as members of the bride's family, will waylay the groom and ask for 'entrance fee'. Only when they are satisfied with the amount would they allow the groom to see his bride. After successfully overcoming the 'obstacles', the ceremony takes place. The “Bersanding” or sitting in state ceremony consists of a “pelamin” or raised dais, prepared for the bride and groom, to represent their ‘throne’ as they are treated as ‘king and queen for the day’. Relatives and guests who partake in this “tepung tawar” or blessing custom will anoint the couple’s palms with scented water, “pandan” potpourri and rice. These symbolize fertility. Today, some of the customs are done away with to cater to an increasingly hectic lifestyle. It should also be noted that those who adhere to the Muslim faith conservatively will shun any practice deemed unIslamic. This includes the wanton display of the bride to members of the opposite sex who are not her family members, playing of loud music and intermingling of the different sexes during the meal |
POST-WEDDINGThis post-wedding ceremony is seldom carried out these days.
“Sambut menyambut” or welcoming ceremony may take place a day or two after the “bersanding”, at the bridegroom’s house, to welcome the bride. Sometimes, a second “bersanding” ceremony is held in the bridegroom’s house to give women of that household who did not have the opportunity to bless the newly married couple at the first “bersanding” ceremony another chance. |
PICTURE AND SIGNIFICANCE OF SOME ITEMS USED FOR MALAY WEDDING
"Berinai or henna application ceremony - notice the henna decorations on the bride's hand
“Hantaran” or dowry
“Bunga telur” (‘flower egg’) or token gifts - The egg signifies a fertile union and the hope that the marriage will produce many children.
Kompang” or hand drums